There are 2 reasons I tell you this and the first one is about YOU, the bride.  I see brides do this all the time. They spend months making plans, finding the wedding venue, tasting wedding cake, buying the dress and going to the fittings, choosing the flowers, and on and on.  They forget about themselves!  I know you might be saying, no we don’t, but you do.  I’m not talking about manicures, pedicures, massages, make up and hair trials, I’m talking about enjoying the process of planning, having fun with it, keeping the stress low and looking forward to your important day with curiosity and excitement.  How many of you are really excited in a good way?  

Secondly, it is a lot easier than you think to make some changes now.  My frantic bride thought it was too late to do anything about her situation but it’s not.  The beauty of the human brain is that we learn quickly and we learn even more quickly when we are passionate about getting something right. How ridiculous is it that you are spending large sums of money and time on planning your wedding and all you are feeling is stress?  So, my suggestion to you is build in some time for yourself.  Put aside a bit of time everyday where you are alone and breathe deeply, make some good images of what the next step will look like and how much fun it will be and make sure your internal dialogue is saying good things to you and if not tell it to SHUT UP!  You will begin to notice how much more enjoyable the wedding planning process becomes and I’m sure your fiancé will notice too!  This is meant to be a time to plan for a great event so get yourself into a great state and the fun will follow.

You may be saying how does this advice help a bride who is not good in front of the camera?  Easy, if she feels calm and confident it will show in her eyes, smile and posture so the pictures will reflect this and she will be much happier with the result.  Go on, do it…what do you have to lose?

HAVE FUN!

If you would like some further help with working the camera, check out my DVDs.  http://www.thebridalcoach.co.uk/products/

For more information about working with Michele Paradise please email here

Thank you

Michele x

Which brings me to the important bit…forgive yourself.  Yes, that’s right…forgive yourself.   Someone has to!  You are your own worst critic and until you forgive yourself for whatever mistakes you think you have made, you won’t move on.  Some people worry about what other people think but guess what…people don’t think about what you’re doing nearly as much as you think they do.  The person’s opinion that really matters is yours.  You’re with yourself more than anyone else.  You talk to yourself all the time, whether you realise it or not.  It’s called your internal dialogue.  And guess what?  You can control what you say to yourself and how you say it.  So be kind to yourself.  Talk nicely and forgive yourself for whatever it is you think you did wrong.  Make it your new mantra for 2011…’I forgive myself’.  It’s amazing how a few words repeated over time will make you feel different.  You’ll see.  You will begin to feel lighter, clearer and softer.

And one more thing.  While you’re at it, forgive others as well.  Grudges are a useless waste of your time and energy.  In the lead up to your wedding there may be people that really annoy you and may not understand what you want, need and desire.  Let it go.  Forgive them for not being able to read your mind.  They’re human, just like you and may not be psychic so communicate clearly, ask for help and accept people’s limitations…we all have them!

The Bridal Coach at the National Wedding Show

For those who missed my sessions at the National Wedding Show in London and Birmingham in October, here is a snippet of one of my workshops.  This one was on Confidence and Calm.

We had a great time and in total I presented 36 workshops in 6 days.  The brides and their friends and family learned how to buy and wear the most comfortable high heel, how to stay calm and confident, and how to get the best photos on your big day.  We had a great time and the audience learned lots…they told me so!  I met lots of lovely brides to be and they shared their dreams, anxieties and concerns with me.  In between workshops I even had a bit of time for one to ones with the brides and they all left smiling and feeling a bit more at ease with their preparations.

For those of you who saw me present one of my workshops, I welcome your feedback and wish you all the best with your wedding plans.

Some people make mistakes that become very bad decisions. Have you ever met someone who hates their job and wishes they had followed their dream instead? Perhaps they studied art at University but took a job in the corporate world, have stayed in the job for years and now feel incapable to make the change. That is a very bad decision that started life as a mistake.

Planning a wedding will require you to make a lot of decisions…some as simple as what kind of icing you want on your wedding cake and some as complicated as who sits next to who at the wedding breakfast. Now is a good time to accept that you will make a couple mistakes and that’s OK as long as you don’t let it eat away at you, absorb too much of your time and energy, and continue to feel bad about it for days, weeks and months to come!

I have a simple solution to avoid making mistakes in the first place. Think of a making a decision about something simple right now. You will get a good feeling somewhere inside your body like your stomach or your chest or your throat. You will also get an uncomfortable feeling in another part of your body which is telling you that it’s not a good decision and you shouldn’t do it. The problem is that we frequently ignore these internal messages and make the wrong decision. Have you ever played a game of Trivial Pursuit or taken part in a quiz and not given the first answer that came into your head? You then find out that the answer you gave was wrong and the one you were going to say was right but you doubted yourself and didn’t trust the first answer. That’s exactly what I’m talking about.

So, the next time you have to make a decision, no matter how simple, go inside and acknowledge where you get a good or bad feeling about the decision. Trust whichever one you feel first and base your decision on that and you will the right decision every time. And if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. Apologise, forgive yourself and move on.

Recommendation
We all know someone who got married, and you may even have been a guest at their wedding – they would be ideal to speak to to find out about their wedding photographer. They would be able to say what the photographer was like, their customer service, and also you would be able to see what their work was like by viewing their pictures either on line or within an album.

Styles
There are different styles of wedding photography, for example formal, reportage, or documentary.

Formal
Where the photographer directs people and places them in varying poses for the photos.

Reportage / documentary / photojournalistic
These three styles are pretty much the same. They are essentially where the photographer is unobtrusive, takes photographs in a candid style, and only poses if group shots are required.
What questions to ask your prospective photographer
Don’t be afraid to ask your photographer probing questions so that you are happy that that is the right person. It is one day of your life and there is only one take. No retakes, and no going back.  Here is a list of some questions that you can ask a photographer -

How long have you been in business?
The images on your site, are they models from a course, or real weddings?
Do you have public liability and professional indemnity insurance?
Will you be on your own, or with an assistant?
Have you photographed at this venue before?
How much will it cost for reprints/extra pages in the album/parent albums/frames?
Will I be able to view my pictures on-line?
How do you back up your files?
Do you have a back up plan if you break your leg on the morning of my wedding?
Are your albums digital, or traditional prints?
Can I view a gallery from one of your previous clients?
Do you do engagement / pre-wedding shoots?
When do we pay?
Are there any hidden extras?

Investment and packages
There are plenty of photographers out there with packages of varying costs. It is important that once you have narrowed down the photographers whose work you like, arrange a meeting with them to discuss your individual requirements. Once you have finalised the package, please (and this has happened to me) take into consideration that you might want more pictures in your wedding album, or a framed image, at the time of selecting the album images.

Compatibility
In my opinion when making the final decision as to whom you are going to choose to take your wedding photographs is that you have to click (no pun intended!) with the photographer and feel comfortable with that person. There is no point of having someone whom you do not feel comfortable with taking pictures of you getting ready. This is best achieved via a telephone call, initial meeting, and the engagement shoot (where you go out with the photographer prior to the wedding for a few hours and have a fun shoot where you can build a rapport, the photographer will know what you are comfortable, and not comfortable with, and also teach you basic posing techniques to help enhance your pictures)

I hope the above advice has been useful to you and you now feel a little bit more confident in your search for a wedding photographer. Should you have any questions, require advice, or you would like further information on products and services, then please get in touch with me on todor@nw10photography.com www.nw10photography.wordpress.com